


It's Okay to Suck at one Thing

by MarouliMeansLettuce



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, but Sammy makes it all good, reader feels a little shitty about herself, reader is experiencing some self hating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarouliMeansLettuce/pseuds/MarouliMeansLettuce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all the reader insert fics i read, the Reader is aaaalways a badass. I wanted to change that a little. Cause sometimes it's okay to be fragile.<br/>(short summary is short)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Okay to Suck at one Thing

You were at the bunkers library reading into what seemed like the hundredth book on vampire lore when you heard the door open and realized the bothers were back with food. You were so caught up in studying you almost forgot your growling belly. It took Dean a moment to find you and invite you to the kitchen.

"Hey, (Y/N), says Sam, how's the research going?" His eyes didn't even turn your way when he asked you the question. You were used to it by now, it still gave you a pang in the chest when he ignored you this obviously. It's not like you were dying over him either, it was just an innocent crush. Nothing more.

"As you would expect it to go..." you sighed rubbing your eyes. After you ate you needed to take a nap. "So what did you guys brought for dinner? I Hope it's pizza!" you giggled. The bags they were had splayed on the table were obviously Chinese take-out.

Over dinner there was some awkward silence accompanied with tension, but you couldn't guess what was wrong. There was no mistake you might have done on the last hunt, that might have angered the brothers. If anything was happening, it must be between the brothers, so you decided not to address it. It was not your place to interfere with their business, you were just a fellow hunter they picked up, after you helping them in a hunt in Texas.

Once you finished your chicken risotto, without saying anything, you went for a nap feeling exhausted.

 

~~Flashback~~

 

"Alright, spill." Dean was being a little out of context, trying to start a conversation, out of the blue, as Sam was wait to pick up their order from the take-out restaurant.

"What are you talking about dude?" Sam was really not into starting a new game of interrogation-by-older-brother.

"For the last week you look constantly like someone kicked you in the balls. What's wrong? Is there a girl involved?" Dean waggled his eyebrows, and elbowing Sam lightly. Sam always got angry over the fact that Dean could just smell his problems, and he could never hide anything from his pain in the butt brother. But then again he remembered how he himself could read Dean like an open book. Maybe it was genetics.

"Look, I know where this is going, and I would like to inform you that I'm really tired so I'm gonna answer and then you are gonna shut up about it, okay?" Sam could really just use an aspirin and a nap for his headache, not twenty questions with Dean.

He sighed. He hasn't said it aloud ever, but he has been thinking about it for a couple of weeks. For hours skimming over an article, but never quite reading the words. Just thinking about you. When you first joined them, he didn't feel a thing. But as the months passed and he got used to your presence in the bunker, Sam realized how special you are. But Dean was staring and he looked like if he didn't get an answer he would die. Not so uncommon for him, but it's a matter of speech.

"i kinda.. uhm.. like (Y/N).." he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Thanking whatever deity is out there, that moment he heard the lady calling him to take the food.

 

~~ End of Flashback~~

 

The next morning you all went to finish the hunt. As it seems all that research you did, paid fruit. You may not be the best one on the field, but reading and studying were your strong traits. You sat at the back of the Impala and opened the window, the morning air relaxing you.

The tension between the brothers was still there from last night. Maybe they were nervous about taking you at a hunt. They would have to double check everything and if any fighting occurred one of them would have to protect you. Even though Dean had encouraged you to come with, you still thought your presence would cause more trouble than profit.

In a matter of a day you had spotted the vampire nest, the brothers getting their machetes out.

"I think it would be best if i stayed at the car" you said hesitantly.

Sam was ready to say something when Dean interrupted him. " There is no way we're leaving you in the car just half a mile out of a vampires nest. You are coming with." Dean was so determined and to tell the truth he did have a point, he handed you a machete.

Sam looked at you some kind of feeling hiding under his features. Maybe it was disappointment, maybe pity. Anyway it hurt you to see him looking at you like that. You lowered your eyes to the ground holding back tears.

Not a second later there was a hand on your shoulder, it's heat reassuring you. It was Sam, as your eyes reached his face you noticed that Dean was gone from the background. Sam must have noticed you saw his expression, his face now the same as before the only difference, smile and a set of dimples.

You stood there looking at him, mesmerized, you took in everyone of his features you could see in the dark. It was just like when you look at a fire and you can't take your eyes away from it.

"It's gonna be okay. Both me and Dean are here." His words were a whisper. You nodded, snapping yourself out of it. You still had a dozen of vampires to kill.

As it turned out the hunt went relatively well. You had stayed in the shadows for most of the time, killing only one vampire, that Sam had already stunned. The boys had come out of it pretty okay too. Dean had a sore back from being thrown around, nothing a warm bath would not solve. Sam had a quite big cut across his chest and abdomen, but it was not deep and the bleeding had pretty much stopped.

The ride back was silent except of the Led Zeppelin Dean had chosen as a celebratory anthem. Once you entered the bunker Dean went off to his room for a bath and a good night's sleep. Sam was heading towards the corridor his room was in, but you stopped him holding his forearm.

"What is it (Y/N)?" he asked tiredly.

"... Maybe I should take care of that " you gestured at the cut "...I owe you that at least." you smiled, trying to hide your disgust for the cut. You had caused that. He had to pay attention to you, distract himself for you.

Without saying anything he continued walking to his room, and you followed, make a quick stop, to grab some bandages and sterilizers. Once in his room Sam sat on the bed and you grabbed a chair sitting right across him. He took off his shirt and you started working.

A thought passed your mind that you should say something, not letting the silence be awkward. But Sam seemed so tired and you decided not to annoy him.

"Whatever is eating you up, you should definitely take care of it." Sam said, his voice raspy. Surprised you looked up at him, he was trying to start a conversation he would be too tired to finish. You turned back to cleaning the cut.

But you decided to humor him. You could never deny him anyway.

"And how do you know that something is eating me up?" You tried to smirk, making your words sounding sarcastic. They were far from.

"Because i can see that something is changing on you..." he sighed as you touched a rough spot " you are not the girl we met. Hell, you are not the girl i had dinner with a week ago."

A week ago was before you had started your combat and shooting training. It was before you had found out you sucked at the field. It was before you knew you would always be a burden on the brothers. It was before you had found out you couldn't help Sam. A moment passed in silence as you thought of an answer, a harmless answer.

"A lot can happen on a week." You avoided his eyes, focusing on stitching now. You could feel him stare wholes at you.

" (Y/N) did something happen during your training?" Sam groaned a little in pain as you stitched the same rough spot. "I don't think Dean hurt you, did he?"

"Dean only hurt my ego during training. I generally sucked." You smiled, trying to hide the tears welling into your eyes. You let out a small sound and Sam immediately reached his hand to your chin, lifting your face.

"(Y/N) there is nothing wrong with sucking at one thing." He took your hands into his, his own blood staining also his hands now. " Because you rock at a thousand other things." Sam pulled your hands towards his face, and you pulled back naturally to not dirty his face too. But he didn't stop until his cheeks were caressing your hands like they were something holly.

And you could just stare. There was nothing you could do for a moment except take in the sight of Sam appreciating your hands, the ones that were just helping him a moment ago.

Then, mostly without thinking, you just grabbed his face and kissed him. It was so slow, like you both couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Then you tasted some of his blood on his lips, and came back to reality. You kissed Sam like he was a sweet summer fruit, and he responded.

Oh boy, did he respond.


End file.
